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Goldfish are a nostalgic favorite of mine, but I only remember the classic crunchy orange fishies of my childhood. They taste of cheddar and middle school cafeteria. It wasn’t until I was a new mom, browsing the snack aisles with my then baby strapped in a carrier, that I was confronted with a dizzying array of goldfish options, from Parmesan to Xplosive Pizza to Rainbow to Pretzel.
First, a quick bit of Goldfish history: Swiss biscuit maker Oscar J. Kambly is the genius behind the cheesy crackers, which he dreamed up in 1958 in honor of his wife who was a Pisces, the astrological sign symbolized by a fish. The fish, now part of the Pepperidge Farm family of brands, received their signature smiles in 1997. Today, only about 40% of the Goldfish in each bag sport the cheeky grin, which makes grabbing them by the handful all the more delightful.
As sales have grown, so have flavor options. There are now some 30 Goldfish cracker flavors; some, like Pretzel, are mainstays, and others, like limited-edition Spicy Dill Pickle, come and go. With this in mind, I set about discerning the flavors that would deliver the highest level of snacking satisfaction.
The Tasters
My two-year-old Julius and four-year-old Simone have grown up with the classic Cheddar Goldfish, so they were thrilled to switch it up and try some new flavors. (Fun fact: I thought Cheddar were the OG Goldfish, but there is an original flavor, which is a plain salty, cheese-free cracker.)
My husband Tony also joined us for tasting and rating the flavors of Goldfish crackers. He’s from England, where — another fun fact — they do not have Goldfish. We bring a bag with us in our suitcase for our nieces and nephews every time we come and visit, and they disappear quickly.
As for me, I’ve worked in the cheese industry for almost two decades, so I’m always a fan of cheese-adjacent snacks.
The Methodology
We loaded up our cart with a dozen different kinds of Goldfish. I chose half and let my kids select the rest. Cheese is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to flavors, though — there’s a whole sweet Graham cracker lineup and salty selections that break from the cheesy mold. We tried the savory flavors, and then the sweet, making sure everyone weighed in on each before opening a new bag.
The winners were the bags that disappeared first — and that we’ll be buying again for our snacking pleasure. These are the Goldfish that stood out as the most delicious.
The Results
The Cheesiest: Flavor Blasted Xtra Cheddar
My cheese-obsessed daughter called these the “cheesy cheesy fish,” which is accurate.
Cheddar cheese is the second ingredient here, and the flavor is, as promised, delightfully big and bold. These are significantly more cheese-forward than the Cheddar Goldfish flavor (though it will always have a place in my heart). The savory, deep cheddary-ness packs a punch that lingers — a perfect afternoon snack with a fizzy seltzer.
Best Spicy: Frank’s Red Hot
These were spicier than I expected! My brave children, enticed by the catchy red bag, requested these multiple times before scrunching up their faces in displeasure. The cayenne and vinegar notes from the Frank’s play well with the richer cheddar flavor, creating a well-rounded, zesty oomph. These are a great grown-up nibble, paired with a martini or a bubbly wine.
Best Unexpected Flavor: Pizza
Pizza and Goldfish are two things I love, and they seem to be a very happy marriage. The flavors in the Pizza goldfish are nuanced: I taste oregano, garlic salt, sun-dried tomato, basil, and those crispy bits of golden cheese on the edges of a pie. A lunchbox hit, paired with turkey pepperoni and red bell pepper slices.
Best for an Afterschool Snack: Pretzel
These had a great amount of flaky salt — plenty but not overdone. I loved the crispy lightness of the pretzel; they’re slightly more dense than the cheesy Goldfish but a lot more delicate than the usual pretzel. Served with hummus and apple slices, these make an ideal snack.
Best Sweet: S’mores Grahams
The kids loved these, and I was surprised to find myself reaching for them, too. I’m usually a savory snack girl, but these won me over. These are a mix of graham cracker and chocolate-flavored crackers, plus a generous amount of squishy Lucky Charms-ish fish-shaped marshmallows, which were pillowy and an absolute treat. The classic graham flavor shone through, and the chocolate was satisfying and not overly sweet. The crunchy and soft texture component added welcome interest.
Kid Favorite: Colors
Made with all-natural colors sourced from plants, like beet juice concentrate and paprika and turmeric extracts, these are my kids’ top request at nearly every grocery store trip. (Note: All Goldfish are made without artificial colors or flavors.) They have that classic cheddar flavor, which shines through without overwhelming your palate. We tried unsuccessfully to distinguish between the different colors by taste. Each one was a burst of crunchy, cheesy joy, and we weren’t mad about that.
PHOTO CREDIT:
Photography: Paul Quitoriano
Art Direction: Sarah Ceniceros Gomez
